The bond among grieving parents is close. It is unfathomable. It cannot be entered into by outsiders, but it is known to each of us. A quick look, an acknowledgement, and we know immediately the agenda of suffering we have in common and that there is no fact of our lives more important that this: I had a child who died.

Now is the time to risk believing that there is, in the structure of the universe, a Spirit that waits, in longing and welcome, for us to turn and say, ‘Come to me. Fill me with your presence. I cannot handle this by myself. Help me. Be my energy and be my rest.’ We may be surprised at the lift this gives us, an easing of our burden, a sense that we are not alone.